“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

Romans 8:18

Have you ever heard someone say of his or her self, “What you see is what you get” as if to say to you, take me or leave me, this is who and how I am? Sometimes that is refreshing and other times it makes you wish you could get to know the person even more. For me it’s that way when I read C.S. Lewis. I was reading some works of his the other day and the following statement stuck with me to the point I appreciated him even all the more than I thought I previously had. What C. S. Lewis said that further endeared me to him was this,

“Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”

That was deep and I knew exactly what he was speaking of as the source of his grief. He had lost the love of his life, his wife Joy to cancer and was declaring openly and honestly that he would live out the reminder of his days missing her at the depth of his soul. He didn’t pull any punches, he for sure didn’t try to hide or make excuses for his grief, he simply said in simple terms, “its just the way it is” and yet not in a bitter way or as if to make an excuse for not going on and living. For C.S. Lewis and those who have suffered this kind of loss it’s simply stating the facts and accepting them.

I love when people are real in sharing their lives with me; I am attracted to real people like a moth to a flame. I chose the moth to the flame analogy for good reason. Like a moth I love vulnerability and yet like a moth enjoys the warmth of the open flame, invariably it will get too close and die. For me, it kills me when I hear someone’s testimony that involves pain and yet I love to hear their testimony as when I do I learn so much about who they really are, or like a line from the movie Sabrina, “tell me where you live” as I learn about the person behind the story, the real you so to speak not the you we all try to portray or the you we want others to see. The beauty of this is “what you see is what you get” isn’t for the entire world to see, only those who take the time like the moth to come close to the open flame of grief.

C.S. Lewis was a man who was not afraid to share himself with others. He grew to become more concerned with being real than with how he might be received. From the quote I shared its obvious he was not afraid to let us in on his grief, and the fact that he hurt and knew that the pain he experienced daily was part of his existence as a human being and if he was going to get good with it that meant allowing others to get good with it too. I have learned that everything we go through in this life is all part of a grander plan as they say, a discovery process where we learn about the faithfulness of God in each and every circumstance and as well we learn what we are made of too, that we really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. One other thing I have come to learn with each passing year of my life is that pretty much all of us experience grief in this life, the issue is mostly just a matter of degrees, so sharing it and talking about it with others can help everyone better process and cope with pain.

Believe it or not loved one, there is a lesson to be learned and shared from what we go through in life. No one has to go alone, we sadly choose to at times. There is an old saying, “You can run but you cannot hide” and with regard to grief that is true. Sooner of latter each of us is going to experience grief to one degree or another. Its not “if” but “when” and like I said, knowing that should make it clear we do well to open up about grief, before hand, during and after we experience it. Yes, I said before hand too. I am never surprised when someone sits with me and says they are fearful or anxious about the possibility of losing someone they love, be it a child, a spouse or a friend. It was C.S. Lewis who also said, “why love if it hurts so much.” My heart aches for any person confronted with grief, either real or perceived.

Grief is a part of this life, loved one, but know too grief is not our life as some make it out to be. Jesus is our life and when He appears we will appear with Him too and on that that day the bible says there will be no more tears, no more pain and no more sorrow. Until then we have a promise of a lifetime where Jesus Himself declared in John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." There is only one way to overcome grief and that is to allow the Prince of Peace to rule your heart and that can only be done by invitation only, we each must ask Him in to each and every day and each and every situation we encounter. I am no talking about salvation regarding heaven and hell, I am talking about the hell of grief that even Christians must navigate their way through in this life daily and can with God's help and the help of those who are willing to risk the flame and draw close. Just know, God is available today to save us from our grief. How He saves us might surprise you. He doesn’t so much remove the pain and the grief as C.S. Lewis has pointed out. What God does do is so much better as He comes to us and stays with us. Yes, loved one, the beauty of God is that He is not repulsed by our hurt. He too like a moth to a flame comes to us, “a man of sorrows acquainted with grief” and He takes our hand and whispers in our ear, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Today, beloved of God, if you hurt or know someone who does, pray and ask God to provide the comfort only He can. Encourage them to open up, to share their burden with Jesus and with you. Yes, friend, that’s what Jesus would do. He says to the heart weighed and worn down with pain and grief, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” We may feel all alone but we are never alone, loved one. God is there and believe it or not others are there too just waiting for you to take that step of faith and to share your grief too. Not complaining or grumbling but being real and open admitting the hurt and the pain allowing the body of Christ to come along side you and fulfill the love of Christ in your life. After all it was the apostle Paul who wrote in Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” If you are too tired to walk today, loved one, let the love of God carry you. Like the old song by the Hollies, "He ain't heavy He's my brother", remember that no burden is too great that we cannot share it with others, sisters and brothers!

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

I LOVE YOU!